Fran Greene
Commack, NY
Female, 0
Love is a many-splendored thing, and I should know: as a Flirting, Dating, and Relationship Coach, I enhance the social lives of singles & the relationships of couples. I previously served as Match.com’s Director of Flirting, and I’ve appeared on such shows as The Today Show and Bill O’Reilly. I recently released The Flirting Bible and I’ve also been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and Cosmopolitan. Ask me anything!
You are not alone with this one. The moment we feel hurt our natural instinct is to retaliate and want to hurt our partner. Just because it's natural it doesn't mean that it's helpful as you have experienced. How about trying this? Talk to your partner about what you have observed and explain that you want to break the cycle because you really care deeply for him/her. Decide together that when one of you feels hurt the hurt person will explain how they are feeling rather than lashing out. The more you communicate the closer you become!
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The most difficult clients to work with are men and women who hate being alone, are terrified of rejection, are bitter and angry, and believe all the good ones are taken and they will never meet anyone. The biggest challenge for me is helping them see that if they do nothing to change their life, then everything remains the same. I help them face their fears, break out of their comfort zone, and get back into the dating world. It's not easy, but they are so happy that they are finally taking control of their social life and feeling good about it. Anything really important takes a lot of effort and perseverance. Hope this helps!
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Very insightful question! I would use a combination of your photos. I agree you don't want "sticker shock" when you actually meet. If you feel confident when you meet your mystery date it really won't matter at all what pics you have online. If you feel that you are being misleading and in turn you would feel awkward and uncomfortable then use your "true to life" photos. You might want to ask a friend if your fabulous pictures are really that different from how you actually look.
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I don't have a clue! They should be announcing it to the world. Does it really matter how or where you meet the love of your life? My best guess is that they think that if they tell people they met online, "they" will think that they were desperate and could not meet anyone the old-fashioned way (whatever that is!) Guess what - online dating is the norm. Meeting at bars, clubs, and singles event do not even hold a candle to online dating. Online dating is efficient, affordable, and it enables you to meet someone across town or across the globe. Doesn't everyone know someone who has met their husband or wife on an online dating service? Go figure :)
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First put yourself in his shoes. What would you want if the tables were turned? If you are meeting for coffee you could drink it quickly, chat for a few minutes, and very politely say, "I don't think we're a match, thanks for the coffee." I would suggest that you plan your first meetings for something brief like coffee or a drink. So if he is absolutely not for you, your exit could be really fast! But sometimes a diamond in the rough can be a real gem!
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Everyone needs some healing time, especially if you are not the one who wanted the breakup. We all heal at different speeds, some of us just need to "take to our bed" for the weekend and then brush ourselves off and get back out there. A dating vacation is always a good idea after your heart is broken. Spending time with friends, family, and coworkers who can sing your praises is always a good thing. Take some time to look at your past relationship and what you need to do to move on and find the love of your life. Then once you are ready to get back out there, go for it.
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My favorite types of clients are people who are willing to look at themselves, and together with me figure out what part of the solution are they. I truly enjoy working with clients who have had their heart broken and are ready to get back out there and work on finding the love of their life. Working with couples who want to transform their troubled relationships into loving ones is also a favorite of mine. Being a part of someone's healing and growing process warms my heart. Thanks for asking!
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