I worked for the California state system, starting as a Correctional Officer and retiring as a Lieutenant in 2005. I now write for the PacoVilla blog which is concerned with what could broadly be called The Correctional System.
It varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. It would almost certainly have to be reported both to the probation officer and to the employing agency. Generally speaking it would be considered to be inappropriate and even illegal due to the fact that there is a power imbalance between the two. The law would consider that the officer was in some fashion coercing behavior from the probationer even if it were not actually true. IF there was a documented relationship between the two prior to incarceration and if both the employer and probation officer approved you could get by with it. If not you could easily end up with the officer being fired and even prosecuted. I have seen it happen.
We seem to have lost part of your question. You have to find your own comfort zone which takes a while. You clearly can't write up every minor infraction. However, if you let sexual or rude personal remarks slide they may come to believe you enjoy the attention, or at least don't mind it. My inclination would be to be fairly strict along those lines.
Sorry, but there were no regulations concerning ink when I was working. I am unaware if there are any now. Wish I could be more helpful. I BELIEVE the officer orientation packet for California is on line, you could probably access it and see what it has to say.
Correctional counselors are not, generally speaking, counselors in the mental health usage of the word. At least in CA there is a mechanism for letting some prisoners out temporarily under certain circumstances. It is called TCL, Temporary Community Leave. The counselor is an important part of the paperwork chain in this process. Normally a prison shrink would be the one to help the prisoner "cope" with the stress of the situation.
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Did you experience the notorious 100-hour work weeks?
If the relationship was consensual it might be difficult. If not you might be able to read body language or pick up on other clues. Observational skills are important. Simply separating them, i.e. changing jobs or housing, will sometimes do the job. Tossing the aggressor into segregation pending investigation will also often deal with the trouble, at least short term.
That would be up to your employer. If he were in the state prison system it would be highly problematic. They do not allow immediate family to work at a facility where a family member is housed without a waiver from the Secretary of the Dept. of Corrections. You would have to check with your agency about their policy. Of course, if they don't know about the relationship now your inquiry will let them know about it and they might transfer him, or you. As far as I know they can't prevent you from marrying him, but they can prevent you from working at a facility where he is housed. Short answer is yes, it would probably be an issue.
I see question marks. I don't see any question. Not my field of expertise anyway.
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