I worked for the California state system, starting as a Correctional Officer and retiring as a Lieutenant in 2005. I now write for the PacoVilla blog which is concerned with what could broadly be called The Correctional System.
First sign is he wants you to marry him just before he goes away. He will then very probably try to guilt trip you for not sending him enough money, not coming to visit him enough, not sending you nude photos of yourself, try to ensure you accept lots of very expensive collect calls from him, etc. He may try to get you to get your girl friends to do likewise for his buddies, who are just poor, lonely misunderstood people. If he has an EXTENSIVE record and is still doing crime, he will almost certainly continue to do so until he dies or is too old to continue. If you want to retain any level of self esteem you should walk away, politely but FIRMLY.
Depends how blatant the offense is and how forgiving you are feeling. Occasional acting out is just an expression of anger or frustration and is not necessarily personal. If they get really nasty, or become repeat offenders, or are clearly showing off for the homies you then have to do something.
I never worked at either. Back when I was working SQ was much more rough-and-tumble than was CMF Vacaville. However, except for death row, SQ is now largely mainline medium security I understand. Vacaville has a lot of sick or disturbed prisoner-patients, and there is a constant tug of war over who actually runs the place, the Chief Medical Officer or the Warden. I would be inclined to make my decision if I were you on othe factors, such as commute and housing costs. Unless you already live in the SQ general area those factors would tend to favor Vacaville, plus there are other prisons nearby that you could transfer-promote into later, where SQ is kind of just there by itself. Job duties are generally the same but the clientel can be very different.
As far as I know there are not hard restricitons about ink, though clearly if you have things that look like gang tattoos or strong non-standard political statements you will have a problem. If you have a lot of ink you may want to wear a lot of long-sleeved shirts.
Starbucks Barista
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Take every promotional exam you are eligible for, even if you do not think you will do that great. The experience is helpful.
Learn your job. Do your job. Show up to work on time. Help other cops do their job. Learn how to write a superior quality report. All of these things will stand you in good stead with other cops, which will help you get promoted. Try to get along with the suits, even the ones who are clearly idiots. You don't have to like them, you do have to get along with them. Try to get along with the union, even if you don't like unions. They are important, and they do good work.
Try to figure out who the dump-trucks are. Avoid them as much as possible. That way when something stupid happens you don't get splashed with it by accident. Don't do stupid stuff. Especially don't do REALLY stupid stuff. Ask questions. As a newbie you will learn more with your mouth closed than otherwise. Try to find a couple of good, senior officers who believe in development of new staff and learn from them. (Many senior officers hate newbies. It isn't as bad as it used to be, but it is still there.) Keep your personal life straight. If bill collectors start hounding you at work, a lot of people will get pissed at you. I would also advise you to not fish off the company pier, but with the weird hours and days off it is sometimes hard to socialize outside the job. WATCH THE BOOZE. Stay AWAY from drugs, even the semi-legal weed.
(If you are an attractive female the flat-back school of promotion still works in many prisons. It is tacky and sleazy, but it does work.)
Your first year is a learning experience. View it that way.
I don't know the law in Florida that well. In CA (which I suspect is strongly similar) he would have to report the relationship only if you are under supervision, i.e. parole or probation. Failure to report the relationship is the problem, not the relationship itself. Also there is an issue with firearms, if he has any issued to him there are probably requirements about storage. He can not leave an unattended, unlocked firearm around you, or possibly ammunition is an issue too. YOu might want to spend a couple of bucks on a Florida attorney that specializes in legal matters like that, ESPECIALLY if you are still under supervision.
Inmates are very good at guilt-tripping family members to send them money, or to send money to a third party on some pretext, such as for "protection" or for jailhouse lawyer legal help. Also inmates can buy stuff from the canteen and they need money for that so it is reasonable for them to ask. If they can get 3 or 4 people to send them money they can get a fair income, then send that out to third parties to pay for drugs. It isn't that hard. Inmates are not, for the most part, stupid and they have lots of time on their hands to come up with ideas.
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