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Pick-Up Coach

Pick-Up Coach
Name:Xander
Location:Hollywood, CA
Gender:M
Age:32
I was a practitioner of Pick-Up Arts, as taught through numerous books, classes, and online forums. Now I help legions of average, frustrated chumps learn how to interact with women and land the dates and relationships they've always wanted.
Last Answer: 7/12/13 Subscribe to this Q&A | Sort by:
Q
If I'm already in the friend zone, should I just chalk it up as a loss, or is there a good way you recommend to get out of the friend zone?
A

You'd have an easier time escaping Riker's Island than the dreaded Friend Zone. "But I have this one friend who knew this chick for 5 years......." Don't want to hear it. Move on, if you were a sexual option it would have happened by now. Every woman has loads of "guy friends" that think they are one drunken night out away from making it happen. They aren't.

Q
What's the typical path taken by those who get involved with the pick-up community and coaching?
A

Generally, everyone first reads "The Game", then Mystery's book, then blogs and online forums. Many people take bootcamps which are generally 3 days of lecture and 2 nights in bars approaching women. I took 2 bootcamps with the top companies. One was a regular comprehensive bootcamp, one was a specialized one. I also attended 3-4 special seminars by instructors who had good reputations. At the beginning it was a little like learning martial arts. Some people advocated jiu-jitsu, some Krav Maga, and interested students wanted to know what worked best. Over time all the theories and strategies narrowed down to a more or less to a single consensus much in the way the various martial arts eventually turned into the Mixed Martial Arts you see practiced in UFC.

Q
What pick-up techniques do you recommend most?
A

Well first I put on eyeliner and a fuzzy hat. Then I ask a girl if this is her card. Then I spend the next 20 minutes talking about how awesome I am and how lame she is. And then I take her home.

Kidding, kidding. All of those oft-touted "pick-up" strategies are kind of red herrings. The "techniques" that were featured in "The Game" or VH1's "The Pickup Artist" reality show are lame and played out like Arnold's "What you talking 'bout Willis?" If you walk up to a girl today and ask "would you still date a guy who was friends with his ex?" I hope she says "would you still use a lame opening line from a dated, poorly written book?"

But the lameness of those specific tactics aside, the themes that underlie them, such as understanding female psychology, dominance, playful teasing, displaying
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Q
How do I make it sting less when I get rejected?
A

12 beers. No, I'm kidding.

One word: Volume. The more you do it, the less any one approach means to you. If you work up the nerve all night to talk to one girl and it doesn't go well you'll feel it a lot more than you would if she was one of 10 you talked to that night. Over time you'll also develop a thicker skin and a realization of how much of a woman's decision to say "yes" is influenced by a multitude of factors you have nothing to do with.

Pick-Up Coach [...continued]