Pick-Up Coach

Pick-Up Coach

Xander

Hollywood, CA

Male, 32

I was a practitioner of Pick-Up Arts, as taught through numerous books, classes, and online forums. Now I help legions of average, frustrated chumps learn how to interact with women and land the dates and relationships they've always wanted.

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24 Questions

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Last Answer on July 12, 2013

Best Rated

What's the most common mistake you see your clients making with women and how do you correct it?

Asked by 112211 about 12 years ago

Bragging. Or worse, humblebragging. It's utterly transparent. I'm sure you are proud of the Law & Order-worthy case you've laid out of why she should like you but that's not really how it works. As far as correcting it, pretty simple. Knock it off. But really "mistakes" or any thing revolving around technique takes a big backseat to just overcoming various fears and insecurities which, unfortunately, take more time and effort to "correct."

I have zero game in bars. Are there any particular venues that you think are underrated as places to meet decent women?

Asked by rossp about 12 years ago

If you have "zero game" as you say, it's unlikely to improve just because you set foot in an establishment that serves coffee instead of alcohol. Women don't change species just because they are in a club. Work on the game part first...are you anxious? Dull? Overly deferential? Address whatever it is head on. Once you've managed that, then you can start worrying about the types of venues that will enable you to meet the most compatible women. I will say that Bed Bath and Beyond is highly underrated (I'm serious)

If I'm gonna booty-call via text, what's the best possible opener? "Where u at?" ain't cutting it anymore.

Asked by psufoo! about 12 years ago

You're way overthinking it. Girls aren't stupid; if you are texting at 2am it doesn't matter if it's "Where u at?," "Hey" or "The Yankees win the pennant!" she knows why you're texting.

What was your first "aha" moment after you started learning the ropes?

Asked by MrX about 12 years ago

I think it was the first time I hung out with Mystery, one of the most prominent dating coaches. He was wearing some ridiculous multi-colored coat and a belt buckle that was playing his Vh1 show on an LCD screen. I was talking to a girl and she said "Look at him, he looks ridiculous. Like he needs attention." 20 minutes later she was all over him. The "aha" was that what people (especially women) say and what they do are frequently not the same thing.

I'm a little overweight - nothing crazy, but definitely doughy. Average height. What's best way to dress & present myself to compensate for it?

Asked by The Hammer! about 12 years ago

Get in the gym and lose the weight. Extra weight is really hard to conceal. Wearing black or a vest can help a bit but it still shows in your face. Pick up some weights, hit the track and most importantly, eat clean and you can wear all the tight t-shirts you want.

How did you discover the pick-up community?

Asked by mumbai about 12 years ago

After years of middling success with dating, I read the book "The Game" in 2006. Here I found that there was an actual strategy being employed by geeky men all across the globe and they were reporting back to their fellow geeks via the interwebs. I spent the next few years reading these geek's strategies, experiences, and advice, some of which was brilliant, some of which was terrible. I also met virtually every character in the book, dozens more instructors, hundreds of practicing pupils, and of course many, many pretty ladies (and a few ugly ones).

Dating in the workplace -- love it or hate it? I know it's an HR no-no, but it seems totally natural given how much time we spend with co-workers.

Asked by THEMichaelScott about 12 years ago

You know how they get pandas to mate? They just stick 'em in the same cage. We may eat Slim Jims instead of bamboo and reside in cubicles instead of cages but we Homo Sapiens aren't much different despite annual sexual harassment training. As long as you aren't breathing heavy on your assistant I say knock yourself out. Plus the forbidden aspect and the secret keeping are likely to amp up the sexual tension so enjoy. Just don't spill coffee on my TPS reports.