Xander
Hollywood, CA
Male, 32
I promoted at several of Hollywood’s hottest clubs during a period of unemployment, mainly to see what all of the fuss was about. While it was fun and definitely had its perks, it also confirmed quite a few of the suspicions and stereotypes I’d previously held about how the industry works.
Minimum wage plus commissions on bottles for a VIP host. Hope it went well.
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I wasn't in it long enough for a foursome. I've had some fun but not like a lot of longer-time promoters I knew who could really tell you some stories.
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Stay in school
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Au contraire, mon frère If there's one thing 22-year old club going girls DON'T want it's female competition. They don't even like the "friends" they came with, much less some chick with a clipboard with more social status than them. No matter what they say, women go to clubs (at least in the US) not to hang out with their friends or even to meet a guy. They go to play a social status game. And female promoters throw a wrench in that. And they certainly don't help bring guys in. The guys are dumb but the gel hasn't seeped deep enough into their cerebrums to make them think that their best shot is with a female promoter. That's what bottle girls are for. And why would the girl want to do it? This isn't Michelle Obama deciding between the Peace Corps and slanging Greg Goose at 1500% markups. Girls in nightlife can barely make it through their 6 unit course load at the Fashion Institute. They sure as hell aren't signing up for crowd herding while angry dudes at the rope call them the C-word and their so-called friends text them dozens of times because the bouncer is being a dick just because her chubby friend is wearing jeggings. Well even if the pay sucks and it's crazy stressful, at least she'll get laid a lot. No wait, she doesn't care about that.
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"The Onion" Contributors
What's your favorite Onion headline of all time?
Forensic Scientist
When did you know you wanted to work with the dead?
Auto Mechanic
Are mechanics more likely to take advantage of female customers than males?
Not at all. Ask if they need subpromoters. Just be sure to deliver when called upon.
I went to Emerson last week...nice looking club.
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Definitely not. Even riff raff is willing to pony up $20 to grind their boners on some drunk girls. A club is an image business. That means pretty, well-dressed people.
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