I worked for the California state system, starting as a Correctional Officer and retiring as a Lieutenant in 2005. I now write for the PacoVilla blog which is concerned with what could broadly be called The Correctional System.
Verbal deescalation is not something I have been trained in, but I developed some skill at it along the way. In this particular environment it mostly consisted of explaining the obvious, that the inmate was NOT going to win a test of force and that if things got physical they would end up in the hole and with administrative charges against them, possibly criminal charges as well. The problem is the inmate often WANTED to go to the hole or would rather "face the music" rather than face his homies if he didn't go thru with being a dick. It was actually common for inmates to manufacture a light-weight situation just to get locked up.
Too many prisoners, not enough cells. It costs a LOT of money to build a prison cell and the taxpayers are not overly concerned with what prisoners want and don't want. Life is hard, it's harder in prison. Stay out of prison. It is a bad place, full of bad people, and they won't let you out to go bowling on Tuesday night. That being said they usually (but not always) put a prisoner on single-cell status after he kills one cellmate, so they hardly ever kill more than one. Hardly ever.
As far as I am aware there is no law against it. She is, however, under no obligation to answer. Also, depending on the exact circumstances there might be some HIPPA situation going on. Prisoners have almost the same level of MEDICAL INFORMATION privacy as does a free citizen and if the captain was inserting himself/herself into a medical situation or medical interview it is likely there would be some legit privacy issues to address. If all he was doing was entering medical housing or a medical clinic area to pursue legit custody inquiries, that is probably kosher. Basically the cops can ask pretty much anybody pretty much anything. You don't have to answer them. I should also think that if your wife has some legit mental health issues whoever is in charge of medical might have some problems with custody jumping into the middle of their program. That, however, is more of an internal procedural issue than a legal one.
Obviously staff must just BE AWARE of things going on around them. One of the things is being alert to coerced cell change requests and of course doing regular patrols into relatively isolated areas where inmates might have a reasonable reason to be, like warehouse and work areas. Especially if you see an inmate who APPEARS to be acting as a lookout. With a little time and experience you get used to spotting such things.
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He is probably already pretty miserable. If you can PROVE he owes you money you can file a small claims action against him and when / if you get a judgement you can attach his canteen account, meaning he won't be able to buy any goodies at the canteen until he pays you. That's the only thing I can thing of that would do the job and is also legal. Most other stuff could get you in as much or more trouble than he would be in. The staff CAN read incoming mail except legal mail, but they seldom do. Takes too much time and not enough staff to do it.
I worked in an exclusively male facility. Some of the "liberal" notions have been long-term helpful, some not. The idea of forced integration of cells is stupid, it is an idea pushed by people who have never worked inside a prison. I am also bothered by some of the issues with medical care. Spending $1.2 million for a heart transplant for a death row inmate is IMHO stupid. Also, forcing the state to buy name brand (rather than generic) drugs for prisoners is a significant cost for no good purpose. It is still too early to sell what issues gender identification / gender identity may bring to the system. It was of course easier in "the old days" when prisoners had zero rights and the courts did not stick their noses into prison operations. Easier was not necessarily better however.
That is a good question and the issue is very much in flux right now, especially now that the courts are getting involved more and more. Under the old rules, at least in CA. it was simple. If your birth certificate said MALE and you had a penis you went to a male prison. Anything else was up for debate. Now the courts are in some jurisdictions mandating that prisoners be allowed to self-identify according to gender and the agencies housing them often are not permitted to question that self-identification. The matter will get messier before it is sorted out.
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