TiredTeacher
NY Metro Area, NJ
Female, 37
I teach English to 11th grade inner city students. I love my students and do whatever I can to help them succeed, which is quite a mission. These kids face obstacles most of us cannot even imagine: gangs, incarcerated parents, domestic violence and much more. Everyday I read journal entries that would curl your toes...and often I feel I compromise my ethics to get these kids to pass, which I am very conflicted about. Many pass who, frankly, should not.
What a great question! I think initially white teachers have to prove themselves tenfold to gain their trust and not feel as though they can't relate to them...and some teachers cannot relate to them, which always causes animosity and drama. Many times, word of mouth helps; if you have freshmen one year, they might hear from upper classmen that you are "cool" or that you aren't. The funny thing is that I hear all the time from the kids that they think I live in a "mansion" in a "white" town and I have to explain to them that I have trouble paying my bills, just like everyone else...it may be on a different scale but typically they think that we have no issues with money or owning luxury items. I mean, I drive a ten year old car and haven't taken a vacation in many years. They enjoy teaching you the "lingo" that they speak and if you are open and honest and don't try to be "down", then they seem, at least in my case, to readily accept you. Growing up in NYC, I think, helps me to relate to them, whereas when I tell my friends strories of what goes on everyday, they are appalled at what I tell them. I guess after awhile, race and color go out the window and we are all alike, in many respects. That has been one of the best lessons I have learned...we ARE the same in MANY repsects. Because I don't add "yo" in every other sentence doesn't mean I can't relate to them and have them trust me. The best compliment is if you are considered "cool" which simply means you have no preconceived notions about them, and they of you.
ABSOLUTELY!!! That is one of the aspects of this job that is so maddening...the last parent/teacher night, one mother lliterally started to climb over the desk to get to me because I gave her daughter a detention for calling me "ignorant." Can you imagine? Our school has a lot of immigrant parents who truly want the best for their kids; however, if you saw some of these parents, your skin would crawl. Using foul language, disrespectful, and the worst part is that you KNOW once they get their kid home, they will beat the crap out of the kid to "teach them a lesson." The thinnest line we have to cross is when to accept bad behavior due to their environment, or put our collective feet down and stop making excuses for the kid. It's the toughest part of the job. Some of these kids are plainly doomed to repeat the sins of the parents and there is not a lot we can do. We try to guide, listen, and steer them in the right direction, but man oh man, is it ever trying!!!!
I wish they did! They push kids into going to college who are obviously not equipped to be a college student! There are vocational schools in the district, which attract the kids who already know what they want to do...surprisingly, quite a few kids I know learn their vocations from apprenticing with uncles, fathers, etc. It's ludicrous to think that my school doesn't offer more vo-tech type classes. Ugh!!!
I feel your pain...we just finished reading "To Kill a Mockingbird." They struggled a bit with Part 1 but couldn't get enough of Part 2. Then there is "Of Mice and Men," another classic. You could try "Lovely Bones" or anything by Sherman Alexie. It's a real struggle, I know. "Raisin in the Sun" is a great play, too. Hope this helps...let me know if you choose any of these and good luck! :)
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As a matter of fact, I would have to say a resounding no! Strange as that may seem, the kids I have been associated with are far more accepting than suburban school kids. Having taught at both ends of the spectrum, I find that the sense of entitlement that goes along with suburban kids gives them a sense of superiority that prevents them from having more tolerance of the marginalized kids. At my school, the issues fall more along the lines of race, with the black and Hispanic kids at odds; but, overall I would give a thumbs up to my inner city kids over the suburban brats!!
It's so difficult, isn't it? And the teachers get blamed for not "motivating" the kids...have you tried contacting the parents? When I am at my wits' end, I call the parents and have them come in for a conference with an administrator and the student. The problem we face is that many of our kids work at night to help support the family and by the time they are in school, they can barely stay awake. Perhaps there have been no severe consequences for their in- appropriate behavior...there could be a lot of extenuating circumsances which is when we have to play detective and find out why? But frankly, some kids are just not motivated and nothing you can do, aside from standing on your head, gets them going. And that is the truth!!!!
I do not have a facebook page. I am very against interacting with students via social media; some of the younger teachers do it and I feel it is a big mistake. They post pictures of their personal lives, which I feel, sets them up for disaster. The younger teachers feel it's cool, but I would never go that route; it's just a personal preference of mine. Students who have graduated that I helped have my cell phone number, in case of an emergency at college or if they need help with a paper...that has happened often since they are not prepared for what faces them post high school. But while I am teaching and I have students who I am in contact with, being on facebook is not an option. I am really adamant about that...they often ask me if I am on facebook, or to look at something on facebook, but no, no, no...not me! I am extremely discriminating not to cross that line...it can never have a happy ending! SO not professional, in my opinion.
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