BlueSheepdog
10 Years Experience
Around the Way, FL
Male, 40
Cheating death and fighting communism: that is how a fellow officer once described our job. It was meant to be funny, but as time went on it seemed all too true.
I spent more than ten years in law enforcement, all of it on the street in uniform patrol. I've been a patrol officer, instructor, sergeant and lieutenant.
Do not report crimes here. Nothing here should be considered legal advice. All opinions are my own.
Working in law enforcement is a very toxic environment. When surrounded by members of the criminal element for most of the day, police officers experience and witness violence, depravity and ugliness never shown on TV or adequately depicted in movies.
Unfortunately, what happens at the job never really stays at the job. A new officer will change, and must change, to survive in the environment. If the officer fails to adapt to the violence and brutality, the officer will either not make it through training or will be killed.
Those changes will effect how the officer interacts with other people, including family. The unprepared spouse will not always learn to adapt to the officer and conflict will arise.
For example, a once-talkative person who is now a cop may be a lot less talkative with his or her spouse. That's not a reflection on the relationship per se, rather is often a result of the officer not wanting to expose his/her spouse to the ugliness that he/she works in. The spouse who wants to hear about the cop/spouse's day, however, may not realize that the cop/spouse just doesn't want to relive the child abuse call he/she investigated earlier. So when the cop/spouse doesn't want to talk the non-cop/spouse takes it personally.
There is never enough time as a cop. Even if the police officer isn't on any special units that require additional time and call outs (like SWAT, negotiations, etc.), he/she is always subject to court. And courts NEVER take the officer's schedule into consideration. More than once, I would work a midnight shift, leave the station at 7 am and go straight to court at 8 am. Stinking from all of the fights, foot chases and sweating the night before, I then would sit in court until 5 pm or so. Then go home, try to grab three hour's sleep before heading back into the PD. After another night, right back in court the next morning.
Nearly every police officer I know has to work part time jobs to make the family bills. So, on the nights he/she isn't scheduled to work, he/she is working security at a bar, directing traffic at a church, or working a security detail in a pharmacy.
Sound miserable? It can be. But, that is just life. Every job has its downsides - police work just a few more than others, I suppose.
I highly recommend reading I Love A Cop ( http://tinyurl.com/krvampy ) which deals with a lot of the issues & questions you might expect. It talks about what a family can expect if a spouse is in law enforcement, and offers solid suggestions on how everyone in the family can work to mitigate the problems the job brings.
For what it is worth, my wife has put up with a lot of long hours, very scary situations and crazy problems from my law enforcement career, but we are still happily married.
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I'm afraid I don't know anything about your friend or the specific circumstances.
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It is gratifying to know you make a difference.
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If you know where she is, go get her. If another adult is interfering with the custody of your child, that could be a crime & feel free to call the local law enforcement agency.
If she refuses to come home and you don't know where she is, you can report her as a runaway.
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It depends on how the judge applies the laws of your state. There is no set answer, and much of the judge's decision will be based on the circumstances and history of the child.
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Depends. If you keep them all handy having them already isn't a bad idea. If you are going to have to dig for them, leave them where they are and when the officer asks for them, explain what you are doing. For example, "Officer, my registration is in my glove box. Is it ok to reach in there and grab it?" It just lets him or her know what you are doing and prevents any unexpected movement.
When in doubt, just sit tight and ask the officer to tell you what he or she would like for you to do. It is a courtesy that can help reduce the tension. The officer doesn't know who you are - good citizen or murderous fugitive - when he or she stops you.
Politeness and helping to reduce the tension have even been known to change a ticket into a warning. :)
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There are no such laws in my state that require an orange tip. But, I don't live in some of the overly restrictive states such as New York or California that might require such a silly thing. You definitely should check with an attorney or local law enforcement if you are unsure of the laws in your state.
Update - It seems federal law requires anyone selling a toy gun to have an orange tip on it. I don't know that there is anything at the federal law that requires you to replace or maintain the orange tip. Again, local laws may be more restrictive due to the eagerness of politicians to criminalize all aspects of life.
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