I have been a bus driver since late 2006. I know the inside story, the scoop, the down low dirt of what it takes to be a bus driver, how to handle kids and adults, and how to survive on the "streets" so to speak. I used to have a blog, feel free to browse it or ask me a question here.
You should probably contact the bus yard to have the video tape pulled off the bus and reviewed by the supervisor. If there is a problem with the driver, the tape will show it. If your child is misbehaving, the tape will show it. Double edged sword with that one. Name calling a child is unacceptable, but how much of this is a story the child is saying to downplay his own actions on the bus for getting in trouble? Video tapes are a saving grace and school administrators can review and either clear your child or the bus driver in this case.
Its common for many vehicles to run through buses lights when they are activated. It is still illegal and the bus driver has every right to turn the drivers in to the authorities. Many states have strict fines against running the lights.
Get that tape off the bus pulled and call the school board and the school bus yard supervisors and get it sorted out that way. No-one should put their hands on a child except to pull them out of harms way in my opinion.
It varies state to state on what guidelines a bus driver must follow when designating stops. http://guide.saferoutesinfo.org/school_bus_locations/examples.cfm
The previous link provided will give examples of these statutes for a few different states, but generally if the children live close to each other (within reasonable walking distance to where they could meet in the middle at a neutral stop) the bus driver is authorized to make changes to the route according to individual district policies. Basically there needs to be enough warning for drivers on the road to stop between stops with adequate time for the safety of all the students on board and off the bus.
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If the bus is making multiple stops on that 40 mph road then the bus may not have time to get up to speed and is travelling slower than the speed limit on that road. That being said if the bus is being unsafe and you have a concern, call it in to the bus company and report it. As far as skipping a neighborhood or designing a route, it also depends on what the bus company's policy is for allowing drivers leniency in designing routes. My district allows the bus driver to decide how the route will be driven and what stops in what order in order to best facilitate getting the kids home as quickly and as safely as possible. Check with your local district.
Honestly, no it is not legal to do so, but there may be district policies relating to the matter. I would recommend taking it up with your supervisor and asking what your district policies are in the matter.
Sorry for the delay in the answering of this question - Technically, we shouldn't be slamming on the brakes, but that being said, your behavior on the bus should reflect how you want to be treated.. If you feel you are being mistreated by her, then report her. Some districts do not allow their students to listen to music on the bus because it can distract students in an emergency. My policy is headphones in, or the music is off, I don't want to hear what you're listening to. Additionally if you're being loud and obnoxious, she can tell you to quiet down because your being loud can be a distraction to her.
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