Dr. Thanatos
Yep, GA
Female, 99
I graduated from funeral college, where I took classes like color theory, funeral service history, grief psychology, & microbiology, to name a few. I am a licensed funeral director and embalmer. I am also experienced in cremation practices.
Hmm. That's a tough question. If he/she passed away some time ago (like 4+ days) and hadn't been refridgerated, then it would be more difficult or impossible to make him/her presentable and acceptably disinfected for an open casket or a visitation. I cannot speak for the funeral home that you have chosen, though, because everyone's rules are different and every business' definition of "too much" decomposition is different. I also don't know under what circumstances your partner passed. If there were substantial burns sustained, then that is also very very difficult to remedy. It is nearly impossible to say without knowing the specifics of what happened. I'm not asking you to divulge that kind of information over the internet, it's just a decision that hinders on a number of factors. No matter what, though, I am terribly sorry to hear about the loss of someone so close to you.
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A little. I wasn't a religious person at all before I started mortuary school, but while attending school I started learning about Hinduism. The timing was sort of coincidence, but learning about this religion helped calm some of my worries and stress about dying. I was raised Catholic, but I find Hinduism to be more comforting and just makes more sense to me. I am not a practicing Hindu by any stretch. I just like the beliefs that come with it.
Many people in the funeral business are devoutly religious, while many others are strictly without belief.
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A lot of people assume that cremation is going to be way cheaper than a burial. The truth is, there are a couple different ways to go about a cremation. The most inexpensive method of disposition is known as Direct Cremation, which consists of the deceased being cremated and placed into an urn. Everyone is different, but I wouldn't personally recommend this to families. I believe that the viewing of the body, known as the visitation or the wake, is very important to the surviving members of the family. They should see their loved one one last time to say good-byes, to see that it really is them and they really are dead, etc. With direct cremation, there's just no ceremony to it. It's very informal, with no visitation, no flowers, no burial. Once you add those things to the cremation, however, it becomes a Full Service Cremation, and that can add up to almost as much as, if not equal to, what a Traditional Funeral Service and Burial would add up to.
What I recommend to families that prefer cremation but just don't have the financial means for all the frills is to have a memorial service anyway. There's no reason for the family not to host a get-together to remember the life of the deceased, with or without the cremated remains present. Families can host these in their homes, at their own place of worship, at the park... Literally anywhere they'd like to come together and share memories.
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Sometimes. Funerals are usually pretty sad all across the board, though. There are the occasional gatherings where the deceased is very old or has been very sick, and everyone seems almost relieved that the person's suffering is over; but most every funeral there are people mourning, no matter how many or how few people show up. I've never had a visitation where not a single person shows up.
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Yes, and YES. I'd say I see a substantially decomposed body every 7-10 days. The smell of dead bodies, on average, is pretty stinky, but it's something that a person can typically get used to over time (I hardly notice it anymore). A very decomposed body, however, is remarkably foul. It is indescribable. If I have to drive one here or there in my work van, even with the body sealed in a body bag, my car will smell terrible for the next few days. This is with the windows down and many layers of an odor-eliminating spray called Ozium.
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This is actually something that I've thought about before! A lot of cemeteries are now considered "historical," which basically means there's someone buried there that was fairly well-known, and the cemetery is basically full. Many states and countries that don't have a lot of land for burial tend to have a higher cremation rate (Japan has a rate of something like 90% of all deaths are cremations). Cremation takes up much less space when buried, obviously, and there's always the option of scattering the remains. Cremation rates are on the rise everywhere, and I believe that it will one day become the preferred method over traditional burial.
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Good question! If a person dies in a way that leaves their body terribly disfigured, like being severely burned or dismembered, embalming is still an option. The funeral home ultimately decides whether they deem a deceased person fit to be seen by the family and loved ones, and in these sort of cases, unfortunately sometimes you have to tell people that the casket needs to be closed for the funeral. The rule everyone learns in mortuary school is that, if at least 2/3 of the deceased's face and head is intact and recognizable, we can rebuild the missing parts through analyzing the bone structures remaining. A picture or two is also very helpful!
For the actual embalming, if the person will not be viewed, the embalming is needed more for the purpose of containing any odors and eliminating any bacteria. Even still, everything will be done to put this person into a natural resting pose, even though no one will be seeing them. A dismembered person will be put back together as best as possible, but if say an arm or the head is detached, these are actually embalmed separately and then put back together with the rest of the body. Embalming is done via arteries and veins, so having the exposed vessels is important, and sewing the limb back together before embalming would be counterproductive.
As far as embalming for an investigation at a later date, you embalm the best you can every time. It is not a permanent fix, and everything will eventually decay over time. If a crime was committed or foul play is suspected, an autopsy is usually done as soon as possible after death so that fresh evidence can be gathered. Autopsies months or even years later are not unheard of, though. These investigations are more for physical things like broken bones or other injuries, and not (typically) any bloodwork, as nearly all of the bodily fluids are washed away during embalming.
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