Dr. Thanatos
Yep, GA
Female, 99
I graduated from funeral college, where I took classes like color theory, funeral service history, grief psychology, & microbiology, to name a few. I am a licensed funeral director and embalmer. I am also experienced in cremation practices.
The two things that were surprising to me, and two things I am confronted with every day, were the smell and the sheer weight of people. The saying is "dead weight" for a reason. I put bodies onto a stretcher, put the stretcher in my van, unload the van at the funeral home, and put the body onto an embalming table at least once a day. Not only are they heavy, but the body on a stretcher or a table is at a strange height from the floor (just above my waist on myself, I'm a little short), so you have to be very careful not to hurt your back, shoulder, or elbow. And don't get me started on getting a body dressed for a funeral. Just imagine dressing an adult male in a three piece suit without any help from him, and without ripping or getting smudges on any of his clothing.
Then there's the smell. Even a person that has recently passed has an odor, especially once you move them around and jostle some of the gases inside of them. A decomposing body is a special kind of horrible smell, like very old chicken mixed with hot garbage. The smell is one thing that I'm very glad embalming takes care of.
I'm assuming that you're referring to the case that happened recently in Holmes County, Mississippi. Things like this almost never ever happen these days, because we have technology to moniter the most minute heartbeats, to check for the slightest breath, and to register every little pupil dilation. In this newest case with the Mississippi man named Walter Williams, they're hypothisysing that his pacemaker stopped, and then started again, and he came back to consciousness with the restart of his heart. Now, he was unconscious for about two hours (from what I understand), which means there has almost certainly been some harm done to things like his brain and vital organs from being deprived of oxygen for so long. The fact that he is alive at all really is a miracle.
Honestly, I'm not a doctor or a coroner, and they are the people that make those final decisions about whether a person is truly dead or not. I know the first signs of a death, like the lips turning blue, no pupil dilations or contractions, no detectable pulse or breath, but a doctor, coroner, or a registered nurse must call the final time of death and diagnose the person as being dead. These people that make these kind of decisions do not make up their mind quickly or haistily in any way, so I do believe that when a person "comes back to life," that they really were originally not showing any detectable signs of life.
I've never been involved in a disinterment personally, but my embalming instructor was involved in a case not long ago. He embalmed a very young girl and, about a year later, she was exhumed because it was suspected that one of her parents actually murdered her. After a year of being buried, she was still very much intact, and the authorities were able to gather the evidence they needed.
If a body is embalmed, it can last fairly intact for some time. It varies from person to person because of things like what condition the body was in when it was embalmed, whether or not the person had been on medications or had been a habitual drug user (especially methamphetamines, those can make embalming almost impossible), or how well the embalming fluid had been distributed throughout the body. There are no guarantees that embalming would prevent a body from decomposing for 10 years, 20 years, etc., but it does slow the decomposing process immensely.
Funeral college was actually very enjoyable, but surprisingly difficult. Everyone that goes to school there is going to acheive the same goal, so it's easy to find study groups and classmates trying to memorize the same vocabulary words as you :) It's difficult because you're learning a broad range of subjects. It's American History, Pathology, Grief Psychology, History of Funeral Service, and your Embalming clinicals in one day, and you'll have an exam over 3 of those classes the next day. The curriculum is accelerated, so their expectations of their students are quite high.
Personally, the most difficult part of it for me was Accounting. Accounting, and waking up at 5am to drive to school every day, haha.
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It really depends on a lot of factors. A body that died this morning in their bed is going to embalm much differently than a body that died this morning in the ocean. Things such as heat, moisture, exposure to the elements or wild animals, & even the person's body fat can cause decomposition to speed up. The rule with embalming is always the sooner, the better. The goal is to preserve and even restore what you can. Embalming really is incredible, in that it can not only disinfect & preserve a body, but it also plumps tissues and restores a rosy quality to the skin.
As far as an open casket goes, as long as any odor is retained, and the deceased's face is viewable, it is acceptable to show the family and friends.
Almost everyone does a little of everything. I originally went to school mostly interested in mortuary cosmetology, only to find that profession is almost totally phased out because any funeral director who knows anything should be able to cosmetize a body. Employers look for the most useful person to hire; someone who is multitalented and does not have limitations to what they can or can't do. In school, eveyone is taught the same course load. Funeral college is technically a trade school, and (at least in my college) the courses are taught in an "accelerated learning" style, so you're taught 5-7 courses a semester, with a semester lasting 3 months, and 6 semesters total (18 months). Courses taught are:
I think it's been a fairly gradual process. The first time I had ever seen a dead body wasn't until I'd been in mortuary school for almost 9 months. I knew that I wasn't going to be squeamish or anything like that, and you're taught to look at the deceased human body in a very scientific and objective way. Your goal is to make this person look, well... less dead. I've learned to take pride in my work, and there's a very accomplished feeling that comes with fixing whatever may be physically wrong with this person (abrasions on the face, repairing an autopsied body, etc.)
I remember in one of my first cases that I assisted in embalming, I noticed my eyes playing tricks on me. If I stared at the deceased person's chest for a few moments, it would look like their chest was moving up and down, but only for a second.
People's skin can turn a wonderful rainbow of colors after they've passed. Assuming they are of a lighter complexion, the deceased can become very pale, very cyan blue, very dark red/purple in the face (especially if they've had a heat attack), green, or in special cases of jaundice, just exactly as yellow as a Simpson's character. Even people with darker skin tones can have these color issues, but it's a little less noticable because their skin isn't so translucent.
In the case of being pale, blue, or green, embalming will take care of that. The embalming fluid rinses out the vessels, while depositing subcutaneous dyes that are usually either tinted pink, to recreate the effect of blood flow under the tissues, or they're sort of a peachy orange color, which is very helpful for people with more of an olive skin tone and creates a bit of a tanned effect. This happens not only in the face, but all over the body, which helps makes things like the arms and hands look a little bit more pleasant for viewing.
In the case of being a deep red or purple in the face, it is rather tricky. This is usually known as livor mortis, or post mortem stain. It happens when the blood has pooled in one place in the body for several hours, and the hemoglobin (the stuff that makes blood red) has been released from the blood cells and is now trapped in the skin. This stain will not come out, or will only rinse out minimally. This can happen anywhere on the body. In this case, yes, make up will be necessary to recreate a more accurate and pleasant complexion.
In the case of jaundice, or being very very yellow, special embalming fluids are used to help rectify this problem. Embalming fluids come in different concentrations of formaldehyde. I like to compare it to the proof of different alcohols. A higher proof will contain more formaldehyde and will be stronger, while a lower proof will contain less formaldehyde and will be more gentle. For jaundice, lower proof fluids are used in large amounts, and the vessels are rinsed, letting the fluid cycle into and then out of the body and down the drain. This literally rinses the jaundice coloring out of the body, and when you are finished, the yellow discoloration will be almost, if not entirely, gone. If an embalmer was to accidentally embalm a jaundice body with medium to strong fluid, it would turn the body a deep, stained green, much like the Jolly Green Giant. This green is very bad news, and can only be fixed with a fair layer of cosmetics.
Some things do waste away fairly rapidly. Bones, though, will remain (at least partially) for decades. You can see things in bones like breaks/fractures, or bullet holes. I'm not really trained to check bodies for evidence, though. That may be more of a question for the forensic scientist on here :)
I don't know a better way to describe this, but they're just so dead. When the reality of this person being dead is right in front of you, it's almost hard to believe that they have ever moved before. Now if you're asking about ghosts or anything like that, everyone has their own beliefs about the afterlife. I don't personally think one way or the other about an afterlife, but I am not going to deny that one or two strange things have happened when I'm completely alone in the funeral home. 99.9% of the time, it's completely normal. There have been a handful of times, though, when I hear a door close and when I go to investigate to see who's come in, I'm still alone. And once, I left the embalming room and came back a moment later, and a cabinet door was open that I certainly hadn't had a reason to open that day.
So to answer your question, no, it's not really scary; but sometimes it's a tiny bit creepy.
I have to say, in the few years that I've been embalming, this is the only time that a mistake like this was made. An embalmer double and triple and quadruple checks everything before they start, checking things like identity, making sure the paperwork has been signed by the next of kin stating that they authorize an embalming to be performed, etc. This one particular time, though, the embalming room had been very busy that day, and we were embalming one body after another. I was assisting in embalming, not in charge, so it was not my decision whether or not to embalm different bodies. The head embalmer was in charge of checking paperwork and things like that. So, we were embalming this woman, and we were about halfway done when the phone in the embalming room kept ringing over and over. The phone in the embalming room rings whenever the funeral home is called, and there's another phone at the front desk, so there's no reason really to answer that phone while you're embalming unless it's an emergency, so no one was picking it up. But it kept ringing over and over, so finally, one of the funeral directors came in from the other room and answered it. They spoke to the person on the other line for maybe 20 seconds, then called the head embalmer into the other room to speak to the person on the other line. It turned out the person on the other line was one of the managers, asking if it was true that we were embalming the woman that we were currently embalming. The embalmer said yes, she was almost finished. Apparently, not only was the woman not supposed to be embalmed, but she was a member of the Orthodox Greek church, so she really really wasn't supposed to be embalmed. All we could do was stop what we were doing and clean up our mess. As far as I know, the embalmer was fired, because that is one grievous error that could have been so easily prevented.
Thanks!! It actually was not what I always wanted to do. My parents always expected their kids to go to college, but I really had no idea what I wanted to go to school for. I had a list of schools to check, mostly cosmetology and aesthetic schools. I'd heard of the state funeral school, and I put it on my list; half as a joke, half because I was really just curious. The open house ended up being so interesting, and everyone there was so helpful and friendly, I settled on trying it out. I loved it, and I actually ended up being pretty good at it. So here I am today :)
In school, we take a couple different classes to help us generally understand the human psyche and the grieving process. Not everyone follows through every step of the grieving process, or sometimes they do but it's out of order, but to be knowledgable about it and to know what to expect helps tremendously when trying to help people out. As far as being emotional vs. remaining professional, that is sort of up to the funeral home's preference. Some businesses prefer their employees to be very compassionate, very sympathetic toward their families, while other businesses would rather you remain more professionally-minded and take on the situation as a leader and as a person these people can depend on.
A lot of people seem surprised when I tell them about what I do. I've heard stories from other funeral directors about people being grossed out or even afraid of them once they hear what they do for a living, but that's never happened to me personally. Almost every time that I mention my work, I immediatly get of questions (like on here, lol) like "Isn't it really sad, though?" or "Aren't you scared or grossed out by that stuff??" People seem to be more curious than afraid, thankfully, and I obviously enjoy answering all kinds of questions.
As far as my romantic life, I was in a relationship before I even started funeral school. My girlfriend thought it was interesting when I told her what I'd be doing, and even though she nearly faints at the thought of blood, she hung in there all through nighttime study sessions, and I'm happy to say we're still together today. The only part of my job that really rubs any part of my relationship the wrong way is my call nights. As you can imagine, people don't just die between 9am-5pm. If you work in a funeral home, you will be on call sometimes, and you will be woken up in the middle of the night on multiple occasions. She doesn't hold it against me or anything, but I'm certain she would prefer that my phone didn't ring over and over and over some nights.
Hmm. That's a tough question. If he/she passed away some time ago (like 4+ days) and hadn't been refridgerated, then it would be more difficult or impossible to make him/her presentable and acceptably disinfected for an open casket or a visitation. I cannot speak for the funeral home that you have chosen, though, because everyone's rules are different and every business' definition of "too much" decomposition is different. I also don't know under what circumstances your partner passed. If there were substantial burns sustained, then that is also very very difficult to remedy. It is nearly impossible to say without knowing the specifics of what happened. I'm not asking you to divulge that kind of information over the internet, it's just a decision that hinders on a number of factors. No matter what, though, I am terribly sorry to hear about the loss of someone so close to you.
A lot of people assume that cremation is going to be way cheaper than a burial. The truth is, there are a couple different ways to go about a cremation. The most inexpensive method of disposition is known as Direct Cremation, which consists of the deceased being cremated and placed into an urn. Everyone is different, but I wouldn't personally recommend this to families. I believe that the viewing of the body, known as the visitation or the wake, is very important to the surviving members of the family. They should see their loved one one last time to say good-byes, to see that it really is them and they really are dead, etc. With direct cremation, there's just no ceremony to it. It's very informal, with no visitation, no flowers, no burial. Once you add those things to the cremation, however, it becomes a Full Service Cremation, and that can add up to almost as much as, if not equal to, what a Traditional Funeral Service and Burial would add up to.
What I recommend to families that prefer cremation but just don't have the financial means for all the frills is to have a memorial service anyway. There's no reason for the family not to host a get-together to remember the life of the deceased, with or without the cremated remains present. Families can host these in their homes, at their own place of worship, at the park... Literally anywhere they'd like to come together and share memories.
A little. I wasn't a religious person at all before I started mortuary school, but while attending school I started learning about Hinduism. The timing was sort of coincidence, but learning about this religion helped calm some of my worries and stress about dying. I was raised Catholic, but I find Hinduism to be more comforting and just makes more sense to me. I am not a practicing Hindu by any stretch. I just like the beliefs that come with it.
Many people in the funeral business are devoutly religious, while many others are strictly without belief.
Sometimes. Funerals are usually pretty sad all across the board, though. There are the occasional gatherings where the deceased is very old or has been very sick, and everyone seems almost relieved that the person's suffering is over; but most every funeral there are people mourning, no matter how many or how few people show up. I've never had a visitation where not a single person shows up.
Yes, and YES. I'd say I see a substantially decomposed body every 7-10 days. The smell of dead bodies, on average, is pretty stinky, but it's something that a person can typically get used to over time (I hardly notice it anymore). A very decomposed body, however, is remarkably foul. It is indescribable. If I have to drive one here or there in my work van, even with the body sealed in a body bag, my car will smell terrible for the next few days. This is with the windows down and many layers of an odor-eliminating spray called Ozium.
This is actually something that I've thought about before! A lot of cemeteries are now considered "historical," which basically means there's someone buried there that was fairly well-known, and the cemetery is basically full. Many states and countries that don't have a lot of land for burial tend to have a higher cremation rate (Japan has a rate of something like 90% of all deaths are cremations). Cremation takes up much less space when buried, obviously, and there's always the option of scattering the remains. Cremation rates are on the rise everywhere, and I believe that it will one day become the preferred method over traditional burial.
Good question! If a person dies in a way that leaves their body terribly disfigured, like being severely burned or dismembered, embalming is still an option. The funeral home ultimately decides whether they deem a deceased person fit to be seen by the family and loved ones, and in these sort of cases, unfortunately sometimes you have to tell people that the casket needs to be closed for the funeral. The rule everyone learns in mortuary school is that, if at least 2/3 of the deceased's face and head is intact and recognizable, we can rebuild the missing parts through analyzing the bone structures remaining. A picture or two is also very helpful!
For the actual embalming, if the person will not be viewed, the embalming is needed more for the purpose of containing any odors and eliminating any bacteria. Even still, everything will be done to put this person into a natural resting pose, even though no one will be seeing them. A dismembered person will be put back together as best as possible, but if say an arm or the head is detached, these are actually embalmed separately and then put back together with the rest of the body. Embalming is done via arteries and veins, so having the exposed vessels is important, and sewing the limb back together before embalming would be counterproductive.
As far as embalming for an investigation at a later date, you embalm the best you can every time. It is not a permanent fix, and everything will eventually decay over time. If a crime was committed or foul play is suspected, an autopsy is usually done as soon as possible after death so that fresh evidence can be gathered. Autopsies months or even years later are not unheard of, though. These investigations are more for physical things like broken bones or other injuries, and not (typically) any bloodwork, as nearly all of the bodily fluids are washed away during embalming.
Absolutely! I don't think there is a place to private message here, though. If you are comfortable with leaving your email address here as a question, I can copy it down and delete it ASAP.
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