Dating Website Employee

Dating Website Employee

Dating Site Guru

Somewhere, CA

Female, 34

I work for a prominent dating website, focusing on mobile products. Having seen a dating website from the inside, I've learned quite a bit about how online courtship works, which members get the most attention, and why certain members strike out. Ask me anything.

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20 Questions


Last Answer on March 29, 2013

Best Rated

What percentage of men and women lie about their age on dating websites?

Asked by Jobstr Frank over 11 years ago

Unfortunately there is no way to validate it but based on what we see, we think it's very common among those over 35 to lie about their age. As you get older, 40, 50 and up, the likelihood that the age is false is higher. But there are no solid facts that we have about this - its anecdotal from our members.

What's the funniest thing you've ever read on someone's profile?

Asked by sammy g over 11 years ago

Their profile name was DrugDealer. And he was a straight up drug dealer looking for leads. 

How does a dating site get its first 10,000 customers? I'm fascinated by how a business like that gets off the ground when its entire premise depends on having an existing pool of users.

Asked by Eskarba over 11 years ago

Mainly thru ads and an affiliate model where they push traffic and sign-ups. Affiliate models have 3rd parties do a lot of smart tactical measures to push singles to a sign up page and then that affiliate gets a bounty. Also most dating sites are free and have easy ways to create a profile, such as Tinder, Speedate, Badoo, etc. So populating the site is a bit easier. 

What's something about online dating sites that people would be surprised to learn?

Asked by Tiffy over 11 years ago

Women lie about their weight, men lie about their income. 

what's the most common customer complaint you get? what do people want from dating sites that they're not getting yet?

Asked by Q-pid over 11 years ago

Most common complaint - Refund requests and that members don't look like they do in their pictures. 


Your second question depends on the site. But the main thing people want is to just meet someone special. 

for pics, do you recommend posting the best possible pics I have, or something more resembling what I actually look like day to day? tempting to use my glamour shots from a couple years ago, but part of me thinks it's better to be honest.

Asked by luvely1hun over 11 years ago

Professional photos are a great idea - you can also repurpose them for LinkedIn or Facebook - or your blog. There's a great article that OKCupid put out about this -

What do you think are the most common mistakes guys make when filling out their profiles? What about girls?

Asked by ijustcant_81 over 11 years ago

Men - not filling out enough of their profile and using small caps and quick answers. Also men often sound angry in their profiles. And taking a self portrait from your phone in the bathroom mirror is a huge but common no-no. Women should not be too lengthy in their profiles or talk about wanting ot find marriage from the start. Also don't use photos of yourself drinking or that are outdated. Women are often called out for using old photos when they were younger or thinner.

do you think there's still a stigma when people hear you met your bf/gf online?

Asked by marques over 11 years ago

Less and less. One in 3 relationships begin online and Facebook has really helped lower the barrier to publicly admitting you have a life (or love life) online. Among younger users it is much less of a stigma given that they grew up in a highly public social media environment.

Who gets more inquiries: blondes or brunettes?

Asked by Shogunn over 11 years ago

Blondes. Hands down

do YOU date online, now that you've been on the other side of it?

Asked by Cam_77 over 11 years ago

Yes, I do. :-) Offline and online. It's good to have your hands in a few cookie jars when you're single - you never know where your next great love will come from.

Do you have to have online dating experience to work for a dating site?

Asked by shogunn over 11 years ago

Typically it helps to have that experience when applying but it really depends on the role that you are applying for. If you are working in any of the following common positions at a dating company, then no previous dating experience would be required: Database Engineer QA Tester Finance SCRUM Master (if on Agile) Project Manager HR Business Development Analyst CRM SEO However if you are going in for a product or marketing position, previous experience would be very helpful when applying.

how come some dating sites charge while others don't...

Asked by maggie b. over 11 years ago

Dating sites that just start out need to start for free in order to build a database. From there they typically monetize with subscriptions or micro-transactions in order to offset costs. It is very challenging to get a large amount of new users so free or freemium is typically faster to increase member volumes.

say 2 people meet on your site. they go on a date and it turns out 1 is nuts and kills the other. and it turns out the killer has a loooong rap sheet. is your site liable?

Asked by brometheus19 over 11 years ago

Most reputable sites check immediately with background checks on every user that signs up in order to catch these type of folks coming onto their site. for example won't even allow a member on if they are a sex offender or have a criminal background that can be harmful to other members (I don't think tax evasion would count though). Haha

What do you do to keep creeps off your site?

Asked by the luvliest 1 over 11 years ago

Thorough background checks that weed out any sex offenders, molesters or those with any criminal history.

If I'm honest and list myself as "divorced" will i be seen as damaged goods by anyone who isn't also divorced?

Asked by 1nce bitten over 11 years ago

Millionaire Matchmaker says divorcees are the best kept single secret. I don't think so. 

never used a dating site, but still wonder - why don't they use rating systems where members can rate other members they've dated? kinda like yelp? (e.g. "It didn't work out w/john but he's very sweet, kind, and generous. 4 stars.)

Asked by falldowngoboom over 11 years ago

Think about it - people use Yelp and Amazon when they mainly love or hate a place vehemently- usually hate. So if you went out on a date with someone and for some reason that other person didn't like you or didnt like that you weren't interested in them, they could be pretty cruel with a low rating - and that wouldnt be fair to those who pay for the dating service. 

has working for a dating site -- and seeing all the mistakes people make -- made you a "better" dater yourself?

Asked by slowhold over 11 years ago


What do you do when one of the people who sign up in your dating site turns out to be a stalker? And what do you suggest the "stalkee" should do?

Asked by anon about 11 years ago


Can site employees read the messages users send each other?

Asked by Syeth over 11 years ago


What's the overall proportion of men's messages to women that get replied to versus women's messages to men?

Asked by blast over 11 years ago