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"The Onion" Contributors

Mike & Jilly (Toronto , On)

Michael MacDonald and Jilly Gagnon edit and write for Canada's Pre-Eminent News Source, The Smew (smew.com), a Canadian satirical... 1 / 19 / 12 1 / 17 / 12 14
Bass Guitarist

Janis (Chicago, IL)

I’m a bass player in an independent Chicago-based band called Family Groove Company. We’ve released 4 full-length albums... 2 / 01 / 12 1 / 31 / 12 20
Casting Director

CastingDirector (Seattle, WA)

As a casting director, I'm responsible for outreaching, interviewing, producing, and delivering cast to a network in accordance... 3 / 30 / 12 3 / 18 / 12 19
Mobile Game Developer

ChiefBakingOfficer (San Francisco, CA)

What's the best thing since sliced bread? Duh! Video Games!!! I'm the Founder and Chief Baking Officer of Sliced Bread... 4 / 03 / 12 3 / 24 / 12 18
One Woman Show

Schinoby (New York, NY)

I have been a professional musical theatre performer for the past 10 years. I have toured nationally in two musical productions,... 4 / 12 / 12 3 / 15 / 12 6
Sitcom Writer

SitcomWriter (Los Angeles, CA)

For over ten years, I’ve had the extreme pleasure of being staffed on several half-hour network sitcoms, rising in the ranks... 12 / 20 / 12 1 / 30 / 12 32
Bowling Alley Attendant

Strikeman300 (New York, NY)

For a few years in high school I was a lead attendant at a bowling alley. Responsibilities included everything from taking... 1 / 18 / 13 1 / 18 / 12 15
Bartender

LetsSeeSomeID (New York, NY)

I bartended for three years in NYC and San Francisco … for better or worse. Ask me anything.... 1 / 19 / 13 5 / 03 / 12 14
TV Editor

TV_Editor (Los Angeles, CA)

I edit day-of-air video segments for a national television entertainment news show. I piece together 1-3 minute segments... 3 / 04 / 13 4 / 23 / 12 18
Chef

Chef Mil (Berkeley, CA)

I have been working in restaurants in the San Francisco Bay Area for over 20 years (two of the restaurants had been in the... 3 / 14 / 13 7 / 25 / 12 51