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"The Onion" Contributors

Mike & Jilly (Toronto , On)

Michael MacDonald and Jilly Gagnon edit and write for Canada's Pre-Eminent News Source, The Smew (smew.com), a Canadian satirical... 1 / 19 / 12 1 / 17 / 12 14
3D Games Developer/Programmer

Steven (San Francisco, CA)

I'm a self-taught 3D Game Developer and Programmer of 15 years. I have freelanced on game projects as a 3D artist and programmer... 2 / 03 / 16 7 / 01 / 14 10
Artist

Bradley (London, EN)

I've been an artist for ten years and I work across photography, oil painting, sculpture, furniture and books which are sold... 6 / 01 / 14 7 / 11 / 13 12
Bar Mitzvah DJ

YMCA (Toronto, ON)

I know how to Blame it on the Boogie better than the Jackson 5, point my disco finger higher than John Travolta and Time... 4 / 03 / 13 1 / 20 / 12 22
Bartender

Cocktails and Dreams (Toronto, ON)

I work as a bartender at one of Toronto’s most popular bars. This is a job for which you always have to be 'on'. You see... 9 / 09 / 13 12 / 30 / 11 27
Bartender

LetsSeeSomeID (New York, NY)

I bartended for three years in NYC and San Francisco … for better or worse. Ask me anything.... 1 / 19 / 13 5 / 03 / 12 14
Basketball Referee

Rndballref (Chicago, IL)

For twenty years I officiated high school, AAU and park district basketball games, retiring recently. For a few officiating... 9 / 11 / 17 5 / 30 / 12 571
Bass Guitarist

Janis (Chicago, IL)

I’m a bass player in an independent Chicago-based band called Family Groove Company. We’ve released 4 full-length albums... 2 / 01 / 12 1 / 31 / 12 20
Best Buy Microsoft Consultant

BBY MC (New York, NY)

I have been a computer sales consultant (more recently, a Microsoft Consultant) at the iconic big box store Best Buy. I have... 1 / 06 / 14 1 / 02 / 14 5
Birthday Party Clown

Rosie The Clown (Toronto, ON)

I've been a practicing Birthday Party Clown for 22 years. What other job is there where you can go to a party, have lots... 6 / 15 / 15 6 / 07 / 12 35