Frank
Los Angeles, CA
Male, 35
“It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
As a liberal arts grad with mountains of debt and molehills of direction, I took an analyst job at a top NYC investment bank. Neck-deep in spreadsheets and working around the clock, I fought to keep my head above water in a sea of brilliant, khaki-clad sociopaths. While the money and education were great, I quickly learned how the finance world really works... and I wanted no part of it. After 9/11, I left for good.
I love this question. Indeed, who DO these douches choose as lifemates? And who chooses them??? I'll do my best to answer, with one disclaimer: I can only speak in regard to male bankers, because I didn't meet enough spouses of female bankers to observe any trends.
Male bankers who I worked with tended to have spouses who fell into one of two categories:
1) TROPHY WIVES. No surprises here. Many bankers, especially more senior guys (age 35+) were quick to trot out their blonde, statuesque wives to company parties, where the latter would smile brightly and say virtually nothing. Think Betty Draper. I wish I were exaggerating,... Read More +
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Great question.
The most common health problems I observed were those born from the sedentary working life. Sitting at a desk for 14-18 hours daily will do that. Severe weight gain was common among new bankers, as were high cholesterol and blood pressure.
Ulcers were also very common, which wasn't surprising given the steady diet of coffee and aspirin needed to get through the typical work week.
Finally, given the sleep-deprivation, immune systems were practically nonexistent. No hiding from colds, flus, and so on. If one analyst came down with something, the dominoes would fall... but god help the analyst who attempts... Read More +
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If only it were that simple. Believe me, I asked. But there are two primary reasons why banks don’t simply increase the workforce to combat the workload:
1) Having more bankers doesn’t necessarily mean less work per banker. For example: if I’m building a financial model that requires 10 hours of work, the presence of an additional banker does not mean that this task can be accomplished in five hours. Building a model is a solitary activity, because two people can't really work within the same spreadsheet simultaneously (and even if you technically could through Google Docs or something similar, the two would be crashing into each other... Read More +
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As harsh as I am on banking, I have to admit that it can provide a breadth of business knowledge and can be a stepping stone into almost anything in the business world. Many of my former colleagues have gone on to hedge funds, consumer goods/services companies, or started companies of their own. Banking teaches you how money and financial instruments really work and how deals actually get done. I had a number of opportunities to be a fly on the wall while gazillionaires negotiated massive mergers and buyouts, and it was fascinating (in good ways and bad).
Then there are the pragmatic reasons. It’s a lucrative position at a time when... Read More +
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Investment Banker
Did you experience the notorious 100-hour work weeks?
HR Executive
What's the worst reaction you ever witnessed during a lay-off?
Inner City English Teacher
How prevalent are teen pregnancies in your school?
If you know early on that you want to go into investment banking (or any kind of corporate finance, for that matter), the best majors are Finance and/or Accounting. In my experience, the finance jocks (mainly from Wharton and Michigan) had a huge leg up and required far less hand-holding. The senior bankers loved these guys – understandably – because they were well up the learning curve from the get-go. Engineering, Applied Mathematics, and Computer Science majors also tend to do well as analysts, given their proficiency with numbers and Excel.
That said, liberal arts majors can do just fine in banking, it just takes them longer to... Read More +
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An unplannable, wildly inconsistent one. The difficulty in maintaining a social life while holding a banking job isn’t necessarily due to the sheer number of working hours, but rather, the unpredictability of schedule. For example, I may only work 60 hours per week on average, but I have almost no idea how those 60 hours will be distributed. This leads to quite a few cancelled dates and get-togethers, so you really have to make sure your friends and loved ones are fully aware of the nature of the job if you want them to tough it out with you.
Cliched as it sounds, bankers definitely subscribe to a “work hard, play hard” mentality.... Read More +
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Fun? It's all in how you define it.
On a micro level, the luxuries and trappings of "being a banker" can make for fun situations, right out of the gate. Consider the life of a first-year analyst, fresh out of college. In a matter of months, he's gone from Natty Light to Dom Perignon, ramen to caviar, and bicycles to chauffeured town cars. I'm exaggerating (though not by much), but the point is that becoming endowed with such luxuries so abruptly and at such a young age, it's hard not become very intoxicated with all of it.
On a more macro level, some people really, really enjoy participating in large transactions. They may not... Read More +
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